To be polite in Sweden there is a very particular phrase which reflects the idea that things must be done in moderation in just the right amount. This concept is known as "lagom." For many Swedes the term "lagom" is not translatable. This word does not exist in other Scandinavian languages and can refer to both physical amounts but also can be used to describe a certain lifestyle. Lagom is understood as a fine balance between extremes and the middle way. There is debate amongst Swedes whether "Lagom och Svensk" (Lagom and Swedish) is actually a good or bad thing as it denotes a certain dullness or boredom. Whatever the debate, there is a certain understanding that to be polite in Sweden is to avoid conflict and work towards a collective. The origin of the world "lagom" according to the Swedish Academy is very interesting as the word lag is the word for law and team. Dating back to the Viking era, when leaders used to sit around a table as a "lag"=team and pass around= "om" food or drink to share in which lagom came to be identified with moderation to support the collective.
The concept of "lagom" is referred to in daily life and most displays of exuberant or extreme behaviors are frowned upon especially when they may disrupt a certain ambiance or exchange. In addition to the concept of "lagom" to be polite in conversation there is no longer use of formal words that distinguish individuals with titles. Mr. Ms. Mrs. Sir and Madame have diminished in usage since the 1960s where language reforms did away with the forma usage of 'ni' or the equivalent of 'vous' in French. In Swedish it is polite to refer to individuals by their first name although many find this uncomfortable coming from cultures that commonly use the last name in academic and professional settings. It is also rude to be 'over-the-top' and ostentatious in taste and dress. In the US where being overdressed is better than being under-dressed, in Sweden one might say that erring on the under-dressed side is more appropriate than standing out.
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