The evidence for my “research” here has been compiled from my experience with Bosnian international students, Bosnian films, and an interview with a Bosnian Serb from Trebinje. For fun, I decided to guess at whether or not Bosnians tended to be more individualist/collectivist, monochronic/polychromic, internal forces/external forces determine destiny, and direct/indirect communication before the interview. I am pleased to report that my hunches were all correct.
Individualist vs. Collectivist
Bosnians place extraordinary importance on the family and the value of friendship and teamwork. One of the very first things my mentor told me was that family was very, very, very important to Bosnians. The “why” question is harder to answer. While this is just a guess from what I’ve learned and observed, family is the one guaranteed trustworthy and safe environment there is. In a country destroyed by war, by their own countrymen, by neighbors, and by external forces, it is no wonder there is a fundamental distrust towards individuals outside the family unit. While this can limit meaningful interactions with the outside world, the love that is displayed within Bosnian families I’ve interacted with and spoken to is unlike familial relationships I’ve seen anywhere else. They tend to be highly passionate, emotional, and loyal talking about one another and in action towards one another. There is also a fierce care and defensiveness towards family members. I’ve never heard serious complaints about Bosnian family members without at least two positive comments to follow up. There seems to be sacred bonds within the Bosnian family.
This collectivist mentality is also on display in team-oriented projects. Two Bosnian friends of mine in fact, had a quarrel about an incident during a business activity. Individual A decided that the group was slacking, and that victory could only be achieved if they took charge for their perceivably incompetent and apathetic members. Individual B was taken aback by such behavior and was appalled that Individual A would do such a thing. For Individual B, you must bring the group up and include the group in all major decisions before engaging in activities. To leave the group and do one’s own thing was seen as selfish.
Monochronic v. Polychronic
Bosnians appreciate timeliness. In my experience, if you ask a Bosnian to meet at five o’clock, you will meet them at five o’clock.
Internal Forces v. External Forces
From my observations, knowing the religiosity and reasoning behind events that either end favorably or unfavorably, Bosnians believe that fortune, luck, and God play the largest role in determining one’s destiny. In the movies I watched especially, one can pick up on the sardonic “damnit this sucks” and that’s it humor. It’s a hysterical form of dark, fatalist humor. To give a more graphic and crude example, Americans will say “fuck, I suck”, or something to that effect. They blame and get angry at themselves as if they’re in control of circumstances. When something goes wrong, a Bosnian will likely say something to the effect of “I might as well let a duck fuck me”. In contrast to the other phrase, this phrase shows that the individual has done all they can, yet fate has decided to be unfavorable towards them. It’s as if nothing they do can make a difference. Americans in sum, will say I deserve this for better or worse. Bosnians are more likely to thank or surrender to higher powers, “i to je to”, and that’s that.
Direct Communication v. Indirect Communication
Bosnians can be incredibly intense in your face people. They are very direct and passionate in conversation. Small talk does not make them more comfortable. In fact, small talk makes them more uncomfortable. They want to deal with issues, especially emotional and social ones, as quickly as possible so that everyone can embrace, increase their understanding, and move on with their lives together in war or peace.
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