Within the Iranian culture, there is a custom called 'taroof" that is a form of civility grounded in self-deference and social rank - essentially it's an interplay of propriety that is done through verbal and non verbal communication. It has been incorporated in many different interactions such as business, dinner invitations, or inviting someone over. One example that would be incredibly out of place in an American context takes place in a grocery store. The cashier will tell the customer that they don't have to pay as they customer has already honored by their presence. Meanwhile the customer insists on paying and ultimately pays for their groceries. In an American context, this would not make sense unless the cashier and customer really knew each other and it was understood as a joke... however I don't think it's meant to be taken as a joke in Iranian culture... although I could be wrong.
A very common display of taroof is when guests have come for dinner. The host will offer food, drink, and comfort in abundance to the guest. The guest will return the taroof as well, declining all of it initially, only to accept it in the end.
This reminds me of Hojam's story about the woman who stayed with her family on her visit from Turkey. When the woman was asked if she wanted to go to DC, she declined, however Hojam knew that she actually meant yes. Had Hojam's husband been the one who interacted with the woman, the DC trip would not have happened.
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