Are there significant differences in the language when you are talking to family rather than strangers? older people rather than younger ones? Are there class distinctions? Are there gender distinctions? What else do you know about formality and informality in cultures where 'your' language is spoken?
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Like most languages, Farsi has it's own levels of formality and informality. Levels of formality also play a role in the cultures where the language is spoken; I will speak more to the aspect of Farsi / Dari in Afghanistan, since that is what I am most acquainted with.
In regards to language, one of the most recurrent examples of formality surrounds the word you. Just like Spanish has the tu and usted forms for you, Farsi does, as well. Farsi's informal you is to; I usually use to with relatives and close family friends. On the other hand, the formal you is shoma; this is used out of politeness and with those you do not know. When speaking Farsi I often switch between to and shoma, but this is because I mainly speak Farsi with my family and they know my understanding of the language is not the best.
Another level of formality in Farsi and Afghan culture, in general, surrounds job title. For instance, if your profession is in engineering or medicine you will be, most likely, referred to as engineer or doctor (the English spelling is intentional since these words are pronounced the same as they are in English, just with an Afghan accent). As a result, it is not uncommon for to see an Afghan greeting another with salaam engineer or salaam doctor.
The most stressed etiquette in Afghan culture, or at least in my family growing up, regards elders. You must always treat your elders with respect in regard to formality in language, and personal interaction. You will usually see the children or the younger generation of family serving the family's guests, especially the elders. Arguably, in my opinion, respect for you elders is one of the most important levels of formality in Afghan culture.
In Persian, formality is an aspect of the language that shouldn't be ignored, especially for beginning learners. If a Persian speaker wants to interact on a social basis with other Persian speakers, a knowledge of the differences between formal and informal structures is necessary. At a basic level, Farsi distinguishes between the English singular pronoun 'you'. Not dissimilar from French (which makes sense as modern Persian is considered to have Indo-European' language roots) Farsi divides 'you' into the polite and the informal. The polite is expressed by the word 'shoma,' while the informal is 'tu'. The use of 'tu' should be reserved for close friends and relatives, while 'shoma' can be extended to many levels of acquaintances.
Greetings also exhibit formality. Not entirely dissimilar from the customs of the US, in Iran the use of the first name as a term of address is directed towards friends and children. However, if one is to be addressed by there first name, it is possible to add a 'Mr.' (agha) or 'Mrs.' (khanom) to the beginning. An important exception to this occurs when one is dealing with hierarchical superiors or clergymen. The Farsi words 'baradar' and 'khahar' can be translated as 'brother' and 'sister'. When addressing officials and clergymen, these words can be substituted for 'agha' or 'khanom'.
From a beginner's perspective, Hebrew has few honorific, or formal distinctions, built into the language. The personal pronouns in Hebrew as well as verb conjugations have no obvious signs of formality/informality. Rather than distinguishing between familiar people and non familiar people/ superiors, (i.e. the French 'tu' and 'vous') Hebrew maintains the same personal pronouns regardless of audience. However, this is not to say there are no honorific terms; as one delves into the finer nuances of a language it possible to see formality becoming more important. For example, the word 'heinkha' is used in written invitations to extend a formal invitation. While these terms go beyond the beginning learner still grappling with the alphabet, it is something that may become more important down the road.
Also, it is important to note that while formality may not have a heavy influence in modern Hebrew, gender certainly does. Most personal pronouns, with the important exception of 'I', reflect the gender of the speaker or subject. Verb conjugations also reflect gender through the modification of verb endings and placement of vowels.
Korean has very distinct levels of formality that are established by the ending of the phrase. If it is accompanied by "ne dah", it is generally meant to be more formal than when it is not added. Students to teachers, children to adults, adults to unfamiliar adults, and adults with the bosses, are just examples of when this formal style of speech is used. However, even in families, children may be expected to use formal language to their parents. My parents do not prefer this because it seems to add a level of disconnect and makes the relationship more distant, which is how many first generation Koreans seem to feel. There are also class distinctions that can be present, but generally age is the biggest consideration. Gender distinctions are made when people refer to older and younger siblings, but there is no feminine or masculine nouns as there are in many romance languages. Also, it is expected that in most circumstances, speech is maintained at the formal level when meeting someone for the first time.
Formality and informality becomes an indicator of closeness between people when the relationship has been fostered for a considerable amount of time. For example, my mother and her friends drop the formal method of speech because they identify themselves to be close enough that they do not need it. It can be interpreted as a way of reaching out, or extending the relationship to a more comfortable level.
In Southern India where Kannada is spoken, there are important differences when speaking to respected elders or family. When asking, "How are you" for instance, you would use a different verb tense and subject for "you" with respect as opposed to "you" without respect. In general such respect is given to elders. In addition, you call older people "Uncle" (yes in English) and "Auntie" as a form of respect, unless they are family members directly related by bloodline - so if you were born to a girl in the family, your mom's sister you would call Chickmama, but your mom's brother you would call Uncle. Similarly, if you were born to a boy in the family, you would call your brother's brother "Chickapapa" and your brother's sister 'Auntie," as there is a difference in perceived proximity between the bloodlines of sisters and brothers.
Finally, just saying "Hello" or "Namascara" entails a certain level of eye-contact; a woman does not stare into a man's eyes, but only glances, whereas a woman can look into another woman's eyes for a longer span of time. This is culturally important, because you do not want to give off the impression that you are "easy" just by staring too long when you say hello.
Korean is a language where formality and informality have a significant distinction. These very distinctions are evident in many places within the culture. For one, the Korean language itself has levels of formality. There's informal language that is used between friends and when talking to someone younger than you. There is a formal level that is used when speaking with elders and a super formal level as well.
However, language isn't the only way Koreans express formality and informality. Gestures are extremely important. For example, it is extremely rude to hand something to an elder with one hand. The appropriate way to hand something over is by holding it with both hands or by supporting your right hand with your left.
There's also other formality and informality distinctions in dining etiquette. If you are drinking with someone who is older than you, you need to be the one to pour their drink for them. It's bad for someone to pour their own drink. When clinking glasses before drinking the alcohol, it is important to remember that your glass should not be higher than the older person's glass when the glasses touch. Also, the younger person must turn away from the older person when they actually drink their alcohol.
As you can see, distinctions between formality and informality are in different aspects of Korean culture.
In Hebrew there are a number of formality and informality distinctions, although many of them are built into social customs and norms that indicate respect rather than there being social assumptions or boundaries for certain people. A distinction in Israel that does not necessarily denote informality, but may seem informal in comparison to American norms is that in school the teacher is referred to by his or her first name rather than Mr. or Ms. In the Hebrew language there is a built in distinction when speaking to a male or female, however this rarely changes for someone of authority. If in the case of higher authority you did want to denote special respect, you could refer to them by their title. However, as you can imagine, this is not necessarily a natural way of speaking. Israeli culture is very much a multi-national, multi-ethnic society. Because this has been part of it's state formation, there is an emphasis of not denoting people by age, class, race, or gender. There is, however informal slang that refers to peoples of these different groups that is not necessarily built into the language, but may be recognized by those living in Israel. For example, the word "ars" is used to describe a low-class young man. This however, is a textbook definition, and having spent time in Israel, I have heard the term used more in the sense of calling someone "guido". I would say that generally there is an informality to the culture of Israel, however, in circles of academia or in conversations on politics, one who is knowledgable about the topic is expected to present this knowledge in an eloquent manner.
In India, there is a strong distinction between formality and informality. For Hindi in particular, there are three different pronouns to use for the word "You" -- aap (formal), tum (informal), and tu (when talking to family or praying). This linguistic system is also reflected in Indian culture. When you're talking to someone you don't know, when you meet, you must put your hands together and say "Namaste' or "Namaskar," whereas when one is talking to family, the "hands together" gesture doesn't need to be done. People do not really shake hands, but rather make the hands-together gesture. If a teenager meets someone her own age, she can just use the "tum" pronoun and use a more colloquial phrase for asking about how the other person is doing.
When a man is meeting older people, he must bow and touch their feet, but a female doesn't have to, most of the time. There are also class distinctions. In India, followers of the Sikh religion are usually strongly against the caste system (since equality is an important tenet within Sikhism); however, in Hinduism, the caste system still reigns strong, with Dalits (untouchables) being at the bottom (even today).
In Korean, there is a significant difference in talking formally and informally. The difference is most relevant to age where a year can make all the difference. Elders maintain the highest level of respect. My language partner taught me three different levels of formality. There is the simple friend to friend interaction which older people may also use towards younger people. There is a more formal interaction for talking to people older than you or teachers. There is also a very formal interaction that is reserved for royalty and other rare occasions. My language partner suggested that it would not be an important thing to learn at this time since these circumstances would not occur in my visit to Korea.
It is considered very rude to use the wrong formality when speaking to people. In further researching this topic, I learned the correct term to refer to these formalities is Korean honorifics. The informal phrases are often much shorter than formal ones. The formal ones use the informal phrases as a base and then more letters or words are usually added to the end. I found it interesting that age is one of the first conversations that come up when meeting someone new so they know immediately the proper way to address one another.
In Sweden one does not use formal titles to distinguish between formal and informal. In the 1960's there was a very significant language reform called the "du-reformen" or "you-reform" that eliminated the formality "Ni" from common language. Prior to the 'du-reformen" and even before the introduction of "Ni" in the early 20th century, several titles were used to address and distinguish individuals in society. In formal contexts individuals would be addressed by their official title and surname such as "Accountant Andersson." The use of herr (mr), fru (mrs) or fröken (miss) was also considered acceptable in initial conversation with strangers of unknown occupation, academic title or military rank. This way became very complicated and required people to keep track of rank, occupation, and surname. Language reform in early 20th century attempted to replace these titles with "Ni" which became a rough replacement as it was never fully adopted by all Swedes and was also used as derogatory title for someone who was not considered to have a worthy occupation or title. Formality began to disappear in the 1950's and 1960's with liberalization of Swedish society. Prime Minister Olof Palme (1969) was the first major politician to insist reporters refer to him as "du" on live broadcasts. The adoption of "du" and elimination of formal addresses occurred very quickly and today only the royal family are addressed in the formal or by their formal titles.
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