Taarof is a very unique aspect of Persian culture. It is a form of civility that includes a system of linguistic and behavioral strategies that allows people to interact harmoniously. Although it doesn't have a direct western equivalent, taarof could most closely be compared to rules of etiquette that govern all social interactions. The system of taarof marks differences between andaruni (inside) and biruni (outside) situations and also marks differences in social status.
In studying the Persian language, I have often noted that many phrases have two different forms: formal and informal. The difference in these forms represents the linguistic aspect of taarof. Following the rules of taarof, a person of lower status will address a person of higher status with elevated forms of verbs and pronouns and will refer to themselves using the more humble forms. The person of lower status will also be the first one to issue a greeting.
In reading more and more about taarof, I soon realized that it governs all aspects of life in Greater Iran. I was having some difficulty finding how social customs differ in Greater Iran, but after discovering the existence of taarof, I soon realized that taarof in itself describes how social customs differ.
For example, if one is about to eat something and there is anyone nearby, by the rules of taarof, that person must offer what they have to the surrounding people, even if they show no interest. It is of course, then polite of the other person to the refuse the offer, but if they show any interest, the person with the food will continue to offer.
This ritual of offering and refusing is also seen in the rules of hospitality. Guests are thought to bring honor to a household and so a host will offer anything and everything that a guest may want, and in return, the guest is meant to refuse the offers. Often, these offerings are not meant to be taken seriously, but are simply a polite gesture following taarof. One must be extremely careful when praising objects because the owner will immediately offer it as a gift, which then must be refused. Additionally, an honored guest always sits at the head of a room or table and the person of highest status will go first when food is served. However, when given this respect, it is polite to refuse it and give it to another.
To me, taarof seems like a very exhausting charade of trying to outdo the other person's polite gestures. I can imagine that this is one of the hardest issues for foreigners traveling in Greater Iran because they have not grown up with these customs and do not know the polite order of offerings and refusals and although it is meant to allow people to interact harmoniously, it probably leads to very awkward social situations for non-Persians.
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