As I begin studying the Korean language more carefully and analyzing the sentence structure, I became more intrigued with the relationship of formal and informal speech with the social structure and power distance. For this small research I wanted to look more closely at the circumstances of when to use formal and informal speech, and when is it absolutely required, and how does it effect relationship.
From television and media portrayal, one is expected to address anyone who are older than you with formal speech, doesn’t matter if they are only one year older than you, and doesn’t matter how close you are, or if you are friends, formal speech is mandatory. Korean Formal Speech is when you end sentence with “~요” and “~습니다/ㅂ니다,” which is called 존댓말. This is because in order to choose which style of speech you have to know their age and position, and to avoid misunderstanding, formal speech is used when talking to all strangers. “Half-words” 반말, are informal speech used to people who are the same age as you or to those of a lower social class.
The hierarchy based on age and social status is part of the big C of the Korean Culture. Not only does it reflect in the Korean language, this phenomenon can also be seen in many normal day to day activities, such as eating, pouring alcohol, or handing things to one another. An older person should never pour him/herself a drink at the table with the presence of others; when a younger person drinks alcohol at the same table, he/she has to turn away from the table and cover the cup with their hand, as a show of respect.(See attached photo) These rules and specific cultural phenomenon not only reflects the significance of respect for the elders, but also shows the problem of severe age and class discrimination. This could be interpreted as one does not deserve the respect, and will be severely offended if you are in a lower social class in comparison to others if others speak to you in “Half-words. This is very important for Korean language learners to understand to show respect and avoid misinformation when speaking to other native speakers.
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I definitely agree with you that it is crucial for people to understand this aspect of Korean Culture if they wish to interact with native Koreans, because this is a very big part of it. I remember Professor Sumi Kim telling us about a Korean sitcom in which a boy is always running around fulfilling his grandfather’s unreasonable requests/wishes. Native Koreans find this hilarious because they can all relate to having to listen to an elder’s words without talking back, because it is such a huge part of their culture; however, a lot of people from western cultures have trouble seeing why it’s funny and just say that if they were that boy, they wouldn’t put up with the grandfather.
Even though the Chinese language doesn't really have formal speech, we still put a lot of emphasis on respect for those who are older. I have a friend from the UK when I was in primary school, and her father was a teacher at our school too. And it was so difficult for me to call him by his first name when I went to my friend's house because of the cultural difference. In many Asian cultures it is really rude to refer to elders by their name.
I have talked about this phenomenon with my friends came from South Korea and Korean born in America. I found out that for those people who lived in America for a long time, they did not really care about the manners. Even if they are several years apart, they still use informal speech because they are close. However, other people who lived in South Korea chose to follow the manners even though they are close to each other. I think we have similar things in China but it is just not that serious. And if I become close friends with someone who is younger than me, I do not really care about the way that she/he speak to me.
When watching Korean TV shows, people who look similar in age often use formal speech. Later, I learned that people should use formal speak even if they are only one year apart. After learning about it, watching shows became more interesting. In many shows, when the guests are very familiar with each other or when it's a k-pop group show, there will be a special game, which is the youngest person becomes the oldest, and the older speaks in formal to the younger. Something very funny happens every time.
It is very interesting that no matter how close you are with your friends, you need to speak formal speech with them in South Korea. I've seen in some Korean dramas that in order to get close faster, two people agree to speak 반말 to each other and then drink a shot together. It is also interesting to know the manners to follow when drinking with elders or higher social class, which reflects the structure of the society in South Korea.